{"id":86,"date":"2016-01-20T17:39:40","date_gmt":"2016-01-20T17:39:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/defendublog.com\/?p=86"},"modified":"2016-06-11T18:05:40","modified_gmt":"2016-06-11T18:05:40","slug":"words-as-a-force-option-a-two-part-article-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/defendublog.com\/?p=86","title":{"rendered":"Words As A Force Option – A TWO-PART Article \u2013 PART 2"},"content":{"rendered":"

Words As A Force Option: Part II<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

“People never forget verbal abuse. It sinks deeper and festers longer than any other<\/em>
\nkind of abuse.” “Words cut deeper and their wounds fester longer than traumas of the sword.”<\/em>
\nDr. George J. Thompson, Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion<\/em><\/strong>
\nMy favorite Doc admission was that he was his own best student. Doc used his background
\nand his training in rhetoric and martial arts to create a lasting legacy that we can all benefit
\nfrom – who hasn’t been baited and taken the hook for a personal criticism, and then lashed
\nout defensively without thinking? One of Doc’s great tools is learning how to deflect the
\nnegativity – his samurai depiction of moving the head to avoid the spear. You truly CAN do
\nbetter. We all can.<\/p>\n

“The choices you make while attempting clear communication can be the difference<\/em>
\nbetween having an average\/typical evening and one that ends in the arrest of a person<\/em>
\nfor taking umbrage with your message using less skillful methods.”<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0tb 082814<\/em><\/p>\n

i.e. he pulled a knife after I asked him to leave!
\nYes, it actually happened something like that.
\n‘On Ko Chi Shin’ = Study the old, understand the new. Something that Doc brought to the
\nfore when developing his Verbal Judo program. Doc referenced from his Martial Arts
\ntraining to Jigoro Kano, and Japanese Samurai wisdom to correlate what he was trying to
\ndo with words with what the Martial Artists did with their physical force OR wisdom. Judo
\nwas developed by Jigoro Kano after he learned more about body mechanics and physics –
\nto move the immovable more easily. Ju – Gentle, Do – way. Truly studying from the old to
\nunderstand the new – using words to move the unwilling to do what you want them to,
\nwithout use of physical force.
\nDoc’s inspiration to name his ‘system’ Verbal Judo was Jigoro Kano, the founder of Judo.
\nDoc pulled many ideas from his Martial Arts experience to formulate his own maxims
\nbased on his knowledge of Judo techniques and the maxims of Jigoro Kano. Doc cites many
\nreferences to this in his second book on Verbal Judo: Redirecting Behavior With Words.<\/p>\n

“Doc has been very active over the last few weeks -nudging me in a few new directions!<\/em>
\nI’ve been doing some spending and research based on things Doc wrote in his second VJ<\/em>
\nbook about the origins of VJ and the correlation between the verbal aspects and the<\/em>
\nphysical techniques of Jigoro Kano. To better understand Doc’s intentions, I have to<\/em>
\nfully understand the connections to specific Jigoro Kano Maxims and techniques that<\/em>
\nDoc names and describes in the book. Trying to run down Doc’s reference to Jigoro<\/em>
\nKano’s study at Oxford whereby he studied muscles and bones and determined that he<\/em>
\nneeded to change some of his techniques based on his newfound knowledge of physiology.”<\/em>
\ntb 030215<\/em>
\n“Using verbal commands to aid in getting a situation under control can’t be<\/em>
\nunderestimated – you have to tell them what you need in order for them to comply. One<\/em>
\nperson should be doing the communicating. It needs to be slow, concise, and<\/em>
\ndeliberate. Sometimes they fight back as their survival instinct has kicked in – they<\/em>
\nmay be fighting to ‘stay alive’ only, and not fighting ‘you.’ They may be fighting<\/em>
\nyour actions to control them – YOU need to make that distinction, it’s YOUR job to do<\/em>
\nthat. Don’t take the actions personally. Treat it as a negotiation. Put it in context<\/em>
\n– it may be more than you counted on or outside your experience. It could be drugs,<\/em>
\nmental health issues, MR or Autism that you are seeing and dealing with. Don’t assume<\/em>
\nanything. Be the professional, and continually re-assess your actions. To get<\/em>
\ncompliance sometimes you just need to explain your actions while you’re engaging them<\/em>
\nphysically to get that. Your goal is to do so with minimal damage. Explaining yourself<\/em>
\nto them may make ALL of the difference. Use your Verbal Judo knowledge and skills to<\/em>
\nget that result – safely, and compassionately. Review often. Improve your skills<\/em>
\ncontinually.”<\/em>
\ntb 061815<\/em>
\nHere are some sagely words to live by, as outlined in Doc’s 16 Maxims from his second
\nVerbal Judo book, ‘Verbal Judo: Redirecting Behavior With Words’:<\/p>\n

MAXIM # 1<\/strong> “Move confrontations away from conclusions back to the reasoning process.”<\/em>
\nMAXIM # 2<\/strong> “Help them seek new approaches rather than argue about the right answer.<\/em>
\nNever debate any point that can be resolved by examining the facts.”<\/em>
\nMAXIM # 3:<\/strong> “Motivate others by raising their expectations of themselves.”<\/em>
\nMAXIM # 4:<\/strong> “Seek what they do well, help them define their own self-worth.”<\/em>
\nMAXIM # 5:<\/strong> “Persuade others with their energy.”<\/em>
\nMAXIM # 6:<\/strong> “Learn what is in their best interests. Persuade them through an appeal to that<\/em>
\ninterest.”<\/em>
\nMAXIM # 7:<\/strong> “Direct others rather than control them.”<\/em>
\nMAXIM # 8:<\/strong>\u00a0“Recognize their need for independence. Assume responsibility for their doing<\/em>
\nwell, not for doing their job.”<\/em>
\nMAXIM # 9:<\/strong> “Give way in order to control.”<\/em>
\nMAXIM # 10:<\/strong> “Seek a middle position that will satisfy their needs and your limits. Insist on<\/em>
\ndiscussing principles, not personal preferences.”<\/em>
\nMAXIM # 11:<\/strong> “Embrace frustration with empathy.”<\/em>
\nMAXIM # 12:<\/strong> “Always harmonize with their pain. Lead them though their distress with<\/em>
\nreason.”<\/em>
\nMAXIM # 13:<\/strong> “Overcome hard with soft.”<\/em>
\nMAXIM # 14:<\/strong> “Ignore the impact of their insults. Enforce the authority of the institution,<\/em>
\nnot the power of your anger.”<\/em>
\nMAXIM # 15:<\/strong> “Be disinterested when you punish.”<\/em>
\nMAXIM # 16:<\/strong> “When you punish for clearly defined rules violations, set aside personal<\/em>
\nindignation. Respect the authority that empowers you to discipline.”<\/em>
\nThere is a lot to be learnt from these Maxims! They are things to do, here are things not to
\ndo: ’11 Things You Should Never Say’:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

01) “Come Here!”
\n02) “You wouldn’t understand.”
\n03) “Because those are the rules.”
\n04) “It’s none of your business.”
\n05) “What do you want me to do about it?”
\n06) “Calm Down!”
\n07) “What’s YOUR problem?”
\n08) “You never…” or “You always…”
\n09) “I’m not going to say this again!”
\n10) “I’m doing this for your own good.”
\n11) “Why don’t you be reasonable?”
\nFinally I leave you with a quote from the father of Verbal Judo, they need no explanation in
\na magazine like this where learning throughout life is valued so highly.<\/p>\n

“The goal of education is to expand the mind. A person?s mind cannot be expanded<\/em>
\nunless he or she is motivated. There are many ways to motivate a person, but there is<\/em>
\nonly one underlying principle: raise expectations.”<\/em>
\nDr. George J. Thompson<\/em>
\nOther resources:<\/strong><\/em>
\nCorrections One<\/strong>
\nhttp:\/ \/www.correctionsone.com\/writers\/ columnists\/George-Thompson\/<\/em>
\nDr. George J. Thompson on FaceBook<\/strong>
\nhttps:\/ \/www.facebook.com\/pages\/Dr-George-J-Thompson\/261812673873736<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a9Copyright 2015, tb<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Words As A Force Option: Part II “People never forget verbal abuse. It sinks deeper and festers longer than any other kind of abuse.” “Words cut deeper and their wounds fester longer than traumas of the sword.” Dr. George J. Thompson, Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion My favorite Doc admission was that he … Continue reading Words As A Force Option – A TWO-PART Article \u2013 PART 2<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-86","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-conflict-research-group-international"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/defendublog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/defendublog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/defendublog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/defendublog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/defendublog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=86"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/defendublog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":138,"href":"http:\/\/defendublog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86\/revisions\/138"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/defendublog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=86"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/defendublog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=86"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/defendublog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=86"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}