How do you suppose some people seem to be fearless in situations where you might not be?
I think that some of it is due to what you were exposed to during your early years and how others may have reacted to violence as an example. Were those moments of shock met with action, or retraction by others surrounding you at the time? How were your feelings surrounding that violence dealt with – at a young age?
You can’t train out evolution and biology, but you can train to recognize and respond to those built-in safeguards that we all seem to have. Some may not, or it may be graduated in others, but it’s not without fault. You WILL be caught off guard, in a way that you haven’t thought of, THEN you will find out if your training worked.
Part of it is EGO – ‘what am I willing to walk away from or respond to?’ I think Marc MacYoung said this, ‘we tell ourselves stories’ – he’s on the money. We all do that. It’s what defines who we are – to ourselves, to our associates, family, friends. So here’s one of my stories, as an example: ‘I believe I will stand and defend during an Active Shooter event’, but I may never be tested, and only then will I know if I was buying into my own story OR if it was flawed.
I think I know what my beliefs and value systems are in the broad sense, right & wrong, and that it falls upon my shoulders to defend the lives of others – without all of the available information.
Often when I respond to a call for assistance, ‘help!’, I arrive there and I freeze in a very specific way. I am unwilling to commit to hands-on UNTIL I have a better understanding of what has occurred previous to my arrival. That may appear prudent, or may spell disaster. My up-bringing has ‘taught’ me to question things before acting. Is it a ‘freeze’ response, or is it a conditioned STOP sign that I have trained in?
© Copyright 2015 tb 121915
” I haven’t ever thought of what I do as being a predator, and as a ‘first responder’, I am expected to face down violence, be summoned to meet it, and expected to overcome it, safely for all parties involved, BUT with a slant towards THEIR well-being more-so than my own. It seems unnatural, and I know deep inside that it’s NOT a good way to make a living. What kind of monetary compensation would you expect to get for facing violence daily? Or the possibility? Yeah. I believe you can mold behavior through education and training, but I don’t think it’s flawless – we all have the freeze inside of us, and we have ALL reacted that way under some circumstances. We can’t train that out, IMO, because it’s built-in. You can train to that goal, but it will never be removed – it’s all situationally dependent. And it will come out. The question is: will you recognize it and correct for it, and will that be enough?
© Copyright 2015 tb 121915
“Using verbal commands to aid in getting a situation under control can’t be underestimated – you have to tell them what you need in order for them to comply. One person should be doing the communicating. It needs to be slow, concise, and deliberate. Sometimes they fight back as their survival instinct has kicked in – they may be fighting to ‘stay alive’ only, and not fighting ‘you.’ They may be fighting your actions to control them – YOU need to make that distinction, it’s YOUR job to do that. Don’t take the actions personally. Treat it as a negotiation. Put it in context – it may be more than you counted on or outside your experience. It could be drugs, mental health issues, MR or Autism that you are seeing and dealing with. Don’t assume anything. Be the professional, and continually re-assess your actions. To get compliance sometimes you just need to explain your actions while you’re engaging them physically to get that. Your goal is to do so with minimal damage. Explaining yourself to them may make ALL of the difference. Use your Verbal Judo knowledge and skills to get that result – safely, and compassionately. Review often. Improve your skills continually.”
© Copyright 2015 tb 061815
“Doc has been very active over the last few weeks – nudging me in a few new directions! I’ve been doing some spending and research based on things Doc wrote in his second Verbal Judo book about the origins of VJ and the correlation between the verbal aspects and the physical techniques of Jigoro Kano. To better understand Doc’s intentions, I have to fully understand the connections to specific Jigoro Kano Maxims and techniques that Doc names and describes in the book. Trying to run down Doc’s reference to Jigoro Kano’s study at Oxford whereby he studied muscles and bones and determined that he needed to change some of his techniques based on his newfound knowledge of physiology.”
© Copyright 2015 tb 030215
“The choices you make while attempting clear communication can be the difference between having an average/typical evening and one that ends in the arrest of a person for taking umbrage with your message using less skillful methods.”
i.e. he pulled a knife after I asked him to leave! Yes, it actually happened something like that.
© Copyright 2014 tb 082814
From a recent FB post:
“We stopped cigarette advertising to prevent smoking, raised the cost of a pack and taxed them to the sky perhaps the same can be done for guns… “
You got me! I couldn’t STOP myself from at least throwing this against the wall:
My two cents: Taxing or changing pricing will do nothing – if they’re desperate and resourceful enough, they will find a way, like smokers did and do, to use your analogy. Laws change nothing as well, IMO – only those willing to abide by them will adhere to them. My recollection – 9/11 – box cutters weren’t legislated out of existence. My proof is that I confiscate many each week that try to bring them into my facility. It’s the INTENT and not the possession that is more of interest to me. Disarming US makes them more likely to use any means possible to do evil. I stand unarmed everyday to at least promote a vision of preparedness so that the public will feel a little more safe and at ease in a place that they SHOULD feel safe. Everyday I wonder – will it happen today? What will I do – with no training, no real support, no plan, and of course no ability to fight back that makes others feel comfortable. Guns makes people uncomfortable, but I see more knives everyday as a ‘norm’ – it’s part of our culture, and only recently has this become a social issue that raises alarm. The issue is too big for a few short ideas in a too short forum such as this. Suffice it to say that I have to disagree based on my experience and knowledge. If we disarm ourselves, we surrender – which is what their goal has been since day one. Legislation will NOT change that. Propaganda – advertising or pre-legislation media blitzes are one and the same – selling an ideology for ‘our’ side. We’ve lost our morals, raised a generation of self-indulged children, and given EVERYONE the right to claim ‘I’m SPECIAL!” – without earning that and forget questioning that – that would be politically incorrect. I see bad behavior every-single-day. Entitlement to do whatever I want because…. we need to change THAT. No laws will change someone unwilling to adhere to them, to respect them. It’s only their desire to do harm that gives them power over us while the rest of us line up like sheep…. and strip away our rights and abilities to fight back, to defend, to live freely.
© Copyright tb 2015